Why we complain and not contemplate?

 It was another hot afternoon and I was yet again in the court street of Kanpur dealing with the men in black gown. I had gone there for the third time within a month, when every other day i was told by the fellow mates that a new kind of affidavit is to be made in order to settle the pre-joining formalities of a leading software company.

I was about to leave when Anjali (name changed :P ) called. She was sort of weeping,the reason for her sadness being not able to clear majority of the assessments that are conducted during the training phase of the new joiners in her company. I, being a newbie to all these things, asked her that what are the possible consequences if she continues to fail, she replied back saying that her training may be extended or if this becomes a broken record, then she might get terminated. I was shell-shocked to hear this, because the Anjali I knew was pretty studious during our college days, and the amount of hard work that she had put to clear all the rounds in the selection process, was both laudable and noteworthy. I was baffled that what does she expects from me in this case. May be on the basis of interactions we had in the past, she would have thought of me to be a good motivator, may be!

I only said what others would have said. "Hey, its a new place, may be you are not able to adjust, may be you are missing home, may be some fear is bothering you or may be the worst thing to happen right now, you are turning lazy and not giving your 100%". Just think of the exact reason and let me know, so that i can help you better." May be me using the word 'lazy', loathed her. She only said "Ok,Bye" and disconnected the call. These two words of courtesy were spoken in the most discourteous manner, but I as usual, didn't give a damn, as i knew well that i had played my expected part. Later that day, i saw some messages on this messenger app called as whatsapp, which were sent by her in the morning itself, but since I had not seen them and didn't replied back, she called me in the afternoon. The content in the message was not as polite as i would be stating them as. The messages were nothing but a form of blame-game. The company was accused, the colleagues were cursed, the curriculum was abhorred and the pay-scale was dis-relished.

Sometimes I feel for the so sensitive and the so touchy type of gentry. I mean how can everything go wrong at the same time. But, sadly all of us complain first and contemplate later. All of us try the get-rid of problem approach and not the get-root of problem approach. Why does each one of us tries to become a disguised doctor and tries to cure the disease with no any guarantee for the problem to never re-occur? Why don't we try the prescribed approach and take our own time and try to identify the root cause of a problem and later work on to eliminate that cause completely? I know i am not someone special or anyone reputed or someone having credentials that make one worthy enough to narrate a theory on motivation or human psychology, but then, i feel that i am among those, who by the grace of god, has deeply inculcated a solution-centric approach within. There are some critically acclaimed people who have spent considerable amount of time on me in the past 10 months just to make me recognize well what to hold, and what to let go. Just to make me realise that problems are problem only when we accept them that way. If we accept them as an opportunity to assimilate a new approach of fighting back, they no longer remain one. If ever you find yourself in dire straits and an alarm is continuously ringing over your head, then its nothing but the power of positivity, which ensures that you are saved from the bell and saved by the bell!

The other night, when I went for dinner to a nearby hotel in Chennai, i sat myself like a king, in the smart lean manner with one leg folded and kept over the opposite knee. It was then that a waiter came and said something in Tamil which i obviously couldn't understand, but then he made a gesture signalling me to sit properly with both feet grounded. I got to learn something new about the South Indian culture that is to "Respect your food" in every possible way. I was thankful to the waiter. The same thing happened with one of my colleagues and he accepted it as a token of disrespect and went on to have an argument with the hotel manager. The motive to narrate this incident was not to project myself as a hero or my colleague as a villain. He happens to be a champion at work. I didn't respond because i was hungry like hell and to fight back you need some energy and for energy you need food, and that waiter was the one who was supposed to bring that! :) But a question arose, why to look at everything in an adverse way? Why not let a few things go, after acquiring the positive traits that they have to offer?

I would like to end this on a thinking note only. But yes, for those of you who are curious, the girl Anjali called back again, saying that she identified the exact reason for her problems and now she is over with it. She has done quite well after that, and now she has also been allocated a wonderful project to work on. Coincidentally she happens to be in Chennai these days, and has asked me out for a coffee. :) Again, there is no motive to portray a hero here, and there is not even a shade of self-obsession.. its just to show that what good looks can't, good words can. :) I can offer both, though! :D

Hope you enjoyed reading this post, and now I hope to enjoy the coffee on offering.

Hope we all master ourselves at contemplating, and not complaining!

Let us Hope!

-Ashwani Ashish